The Access Radio Hour blends music by disabled artists and conversations about disability at Emerson. Hosted by Access: Student Disability Union's Vice President for Community, Greyson Acquaviva, this accessible radio show brings disability to WECB every Friday from 2-3pm EST.
The audio of this interview can be found here.
Greyson:
Hello, everybody. Now we are on to the interview section of our radio show. And today we have Abbie Anderson. How are you?
Abbie:
Hi, I'm good. Thank you for having me.
Greyson:
Thank you for coming. So, Abbie, tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you? And you know, what sort of disability do you have?
Abbie:
Yeah, so, I am a freshman Theatre and Performance major at Emerson. Um, I am an actor, I'm a writer. I'm am super into makeup and fashion, pretty much anything that involves self-expression. I'm from Ridgewood, New Jersey, which is about 20-30 minutes outside of New York City. Um, what else? I'm loving life here at Emerson, I'm super happy to be here. And I'm really happy to have found this club because I've never met other people, other teenagers that have disabilities before. And I've always felt like I was the only one. So, it's really great to have this kind of support system. So, about disabilities, I have a bunch of health issues. I have very severe TMJ, I have arthritis, I have fibromyalgia, I have psoriasis, I have a lot of a bunch of fun mental health things. But my main is Fibromyalgia which is, in simple terms, it's a chronic pain condition where widespread pain courses through your body 24/7. My pain is usually at like a seven or an eight, or like ten is the most one is the least. And it's when your brain and your nerves, like, don't connect with each other. Like they don't understand each other. So, the brain sends pain signals 24/7, to the nerves. So yeah, so I feel pain, very severe, like tender pain all throughout my body with like some trigger points in certain areas.
Greyson:
Wow.
Abbie:
Yeah.
Greyson:
That must be really hard to be, hard to like— that must be really hard.
Abbie:
Yeah, it is.
Greyson:
So, could you tell us a little bit— so since you're a freshman, you sort of have the sort of knowledge that a lot of people won't have, which is what's it like being a freshman at Emerson and coming into this as a person with disabilities? And, of course, coming into that being so— really, I'm coming to terms with this. It’s just— could you tell us a little bit about your experience having a disability in high school vs. college?
Abbie:
Yes.
Greyson:
Because you definitely have more of probably knowledge in that area, like to see the massive difference.
Abbie:
Right.
Greyson:
And just tell us a little experience, how about having a disability in high schoolers college and how things might have changed about this?
Abbie:
So, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in seventh grade. I'm one of the youngest people ever to have it because it usually affects middle aged women. Um, yeah, so it's usually like 50 and up, it's usually effects obese, middle aged women. I am nice 18-year-old who had it when she was in seventh grade. So, I've had, like, many different school experiences with it. High school was definitely hard because high schoolers stink. It was extremely hard in gym class, because I often find that gym teachers don't understand it and don't understand why you can't just run, why you can't just suck it up and feel better. And that's just like not how a handicap works. It's not how a disability works. And so, I was, and, like my gym teachers, I guess never like, cared to explain it or let me explain it to the rest of my class. So, I was kind of like, looked at weirdly, when I would be the only one walking around the track when everyone else was running, or when I'd be sitting out in certain classes because I can't stand for that long without my knees giving out. So, I didn't really have much, many opportunities to like, explain why I was different. It was just like, people didn't really care to know why I was different. They just were like, that's kind of weird, like didn't understand it. And I always wish I had the opportunity to kind of like, educate people more. And I've always done that through like my Instagram story and stuff, but it's a bit different than speaking to someone face to face, obviously. So, high school was just like hard because everyone like knew there was something up but like didn't feel the need to like know what.
Greyson:
Right.
Abbie:
You know what I mean?
Greyson:
Yeah, totally know what you mean.
Abbie:
So wasn't great, I had a lot of friends who like would talk behind my back and be like, “hm it's not real.” All stuff and I was like “um?”
Greyson:
Not cool.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, but college on the other hand is so incredible for it. I have friends that like fully understand and actually care to know what five miles is and how it affects me. The schedule is actually perfect for me only having like, two to three classes a day. I can take naps in between my classes, I can ice myself or, or use my heating pad. Like, I can really take care of myself in a way I wasn't able to with like, a seven-hour day in high school. Um, like a seven-hour class day.
Greyson:
Yeah, I remember those.
Abbie:
Yeah. And so also here, like being in a city that I love more than anything and being at a college I love more than anything, my mental health is the best it's ever been.
Greyson:
That’s so important.
Abbie:
Um, yeah, it really is. And like Fibromyalgia is a psychosomatic condition, which means like, your brain in your body, like I said earlier, react. So, like, if I'm in a lot of pain, I'm gonna feel very depressed, vice versa. So, because my mental health is really good, my pain has been quite manageable to the point where I'm able to like, go on walks every day and actually be active and like, do everything that I would want to do with some limitations. So, it's just, like, so refreshing. And it's really, really what I needed.
Greyson:
So, so you said you love Boston,
Abbie:
I really do.
Greyson:
I definitely felt a love of Boston and fell madly in love with Boston, the city and with Emerson when I first came here, so I'm totally reliving sort of that with you right now. And I was wondering, is there any, like, favorite places you'd like to go? Just like off topic, I guess. But like, would you use any of the places that you love personally, like, personally do you like most…
Abbie:
Yeah, so I've been coming to Boston since I was little because my parents used to live here before I was born. So, we used to come like once or twice a year, and we just explore everywhere. So, I have like, personal favorites. But recently, since I've lived here, I've been trying to walk at least two miles a day and explore different parts of the city. So, like, I'll just choose a direction and like walk on my own that direction and see what's there. So, I've fallen in love with just like any body of water, I just like I love water. I'm such like a lake girl. So, like, on Wednesday, I bought a book and sat in front of the harbor for three hours and just like read and, and felt peaceful. Or I'll go to the public garden and sit on a bench and do homework. Like I try to, I try to be outside every single day while it's nice out. And just like being near any body of water, like sitting on the dock at esplanade or sitting on the dock the public garden, it's just like, the most peaceful I've ever felt.
Greyson:
That's really important, especially at Boston. I definitely feel, it definitely have a peaceful vibe when you go anywhere new water around Boston.
Abbie:
Definitely.
Greyson:
Um, yeah. So, you are part of the performing arts here at Emerson.
Abbie:
Yes, I am.
Greyson:
Something that is definitely a little bit of a niche thing here at Emerson. So, what— could you tell me a little bit about how your disability maybe affects being part of that program? Remember, you talked about a little bit with me when we did the, you know, getting to know you stuff at, in Access. But tell me a little bit, maybe tell the, you know, people that are listening to this ratio about that.
Abbie:
Yeah, of course. So, I'm a Theater and Performance major, which is like your typical acting major, but we don't call it that until junior or senior year. Um, so it's a bit of a different journey for me than everyone else. Because I obviously can't do as much physical work to an extreme and what I can do, I have to accommodate and limit. So, like one of the classes I'm taking now, that's like every freshman Theater and Performance has to take is Movement. And so that's like, go and you do stretches and exercises and it's incredibly helpful for acting and for theater and stuff, but it's very hard sometimes when we're like bending over touching our toes for three minutes, and I feel my back start to go and then I lose feeling and my back. And so, it's not even that, like, the classes themselves are hard. It's that like, I guess I'm a bit embarrassed to ask for those limitations, because of like, I guess just stigma around disabilities. And so yeah, my whole class and my professors know about fibromyalgia and like, I've told them that I have it. But I still feel like I have to push myself to do what everyone else is doing. And I realized, that's only going to hurt me. And I need to tailor these exercises to my body because everyone's body is different.
Greyson:
Right. And that's so important. I totally agree with you.
Abbie:
And it's great because like, my teachers, and the people in my class are the best people ever. And they all like, we all have pains in our bodies, we all had back pain and knee pain and all that stuff. So, like, and in all the theater classes, we do a check in before every class, so I'm able, it gives me the ability to say like, “Hey, I'm not doing so great today, my wrists are really swollen, so I won't be able to like, touch them to the ground or touch my toes or anything. So, it's like, I finally, unlike high school, I have the opportunity to say like, this is what I'm feeling just to let you know, hope you understand. And they do, which is great.
Greyson:
That is amazing.
Abbie:
So, it's like, it's like a glass half full thing where like, I think I could take it very negatively, and like be super jealous that my body can't do the same things. But like, it's great to just feel acceptance with it.
Greyson:
Yeah, I get what you mean. And it's definitely important to fight for your accommodations. I mean, if I mean, I again, this is not an area of my expertise per say, but I definitely agree that if you have physical disabilities or limitations that make it hard for you to do certain things in like, say acting class and all that— this goes for anybody. You can fight for accommodations. And it's important. I mean, it will only make your life worse if you don't, you know?
Abbie:
Yeah.
Greyson:
As I learned pretty late in my time having Tourette's Syndrome and OCD and all that— I didn't learn how helpful it is to really ask for those accommodations. It can feel like intimidating, and it can definitely feel sort of like you're kind of being a wolf in a way, you know? And that's part of the stigmatism against that and that's something we Access are trying to change. And we, as Emerson students and Emerson are trying to change.
Abbie:
Yeah.
Greyson:
I definitely totally agree with you that, um, that that this is an important thing to talk about.
Abbie:
And just to add just on the topic of performing, it's interesting, because the only time when I'm not in pain is when I am performing.
Greyson:
Wow.
Abbie:
And yeah, and it's because, like, I, like I assume all other performers, like, I fully immerse myself in my character, and I just am that character, and I'm not myself anymore. So, I guess my thought processes is like, well, if said character doesn't have fibromyalgia, then I wouldn't be in pain. You know?
Greyson:
That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I see that.
Abbie:
I find that like, when I'm on stage as a character, I'm able to do like a full complicated dance number that I wouldn't be able to do just as myself, you know?
Greyson:
Wow, yeah, I totally understand that. Um, with Tourette's. What's really weird is that sometimes I'll have like, but this is interesting. Also, different Tourette's. Like a lot of— often times Tourette's people, people with Tourette's are usually a little bit better, at I guess not necessary sports in general, but like are a little bit better at doing stuff with, that requires a lot of focus because of the fact that people with Tourette's are able to often be able to have their Tourette's be almost nullified when they're in the zone. I definitely feel that when, when I'm either like doing something like as simple as gaming, but also as sports. I often don't have like traps bothering me. But of course, it bothered me is way right after
Abbie:
Oh, exactly.
Greyson:
When, like all of a sudden, all of a sudden you notice, “Oh I still have this. Why didn't I just do this?”
Abbie:
Exactly. The second I walk off stage I'm like, “Oh my God, my knees hurt so badly.” But it's like, it's worth it, you know?
Greyson:
Yeah.
Abbie:
It's like, when it’s something that you love with your whole being like, I don't care how I feel after because it's never gonna make me stop doing it.
Greyson:
Yeah, and that's important. I definitely feel that with film editing, which is what I want to do when I get out of college. So, it definitely I can spend all day doing it. And of course, we'll have like a little bit of like a tick fit or something afterwards, but it is amazing.
Abbie:
Yeah.
Greyson:
I have so much fun doing it in the meantime, and I wouldn't— I wouldn't— you know, stop doing it if I didn’t love it so much.
Abbie:
Yeah, exactly.
Greyson:
So, what are the types of challenges you face every day because of you disability.
Abbie:
Ooh.
Greyson:
And how— and on top of that, how could we as the Emerson community try and normalize this. So, issues like of accessibility don't stay second thought?
Abbie:
Yeah, I mean, like, from a super basic level, like I am, recently have been super, like, I've been very mobile and very active, which is not something I'm always lucky enough to be. But I think once again, with the mental health, but challenges that I typically face every day? I can't stay in one position for too long, or else, I feel severe pain. So, like, if I'm sitting I have to stand. If I'm sitting up to sit. I typically can't really do any form of exercise. But mental health being better, I'm able to exercise now. I mean, it's, I know this sounds cliché, but it's hard to get out of bed in the morning physically, because of like, yeah, with arthritis too like the combination of both of them. I wake up and like, I can't even move my hand, sometimes I need to, like, pry my body out of bed because it's so swollen and inflamed. And just like very basic things, like, my arthritis is the worst of my wrists. So, like opening doors is excruciating, like turning a knob and opening it. Oh, it's horrible. Carrying a backpack? Not good. But I mean, like, I've had this for since seventh grade and I do it, and it doesn't affect me as much as I— I thought it would rule my life, you know? Like, I just do it, and I deal with it. And I do what I want, because I'm not going to let this like demon control me.
Greyson:
Right. And that's so important that you don't let the disability define you.
Abbie:
Exactly.
Greyson:
Yeah. And how could we the Emerson community try and make it so that we normalize this. So, issues like accessibility don’t stay second thought?
Abbie:
I mean, like, I think for me, it's just like talking about it and staying open minded and educating people. Like that's what I had trouble with in high school, but being able to have a space like Access, where I can actually talk about it and inform people and like— I can't wait to tell my friends about this radio show and be like, “Hey, listen to this, please, so you can just like, be aware of fibromyalgia, and be aware of everything. “And like send it to people back home and being like, here's some information if you want to like educate yourself a bit more on this issue that I face. So, I think just like keeping an open mind, keep talking about it and keep just like asking questions, because I love when people ask questions about fibromyalgia. I know it's different with everyone with disabilities, like I know, not everyone agrees with that. But I think it's so special when people ask questions, because it means that they care, and that they want to be informed, which is just like the biggest act of like, love and respect, in my opinion.
Greyson:
That's really good. That's a really good answer.
Abbie:
Thank you.
Greyson:
I totally agree. I always like it when people ask me to because it makes me feel like they actually care as well. And that also definitely makes me feel that they want to get to know what it's like being in shoes.
Abbie:
Exactly.
Greyson:
And, and it helps, it also spreads awareness and spreads knowledge about it. And, and yeah, it was it— was it— was it's pretty important. I have to say this is what probably one of my favorite interviews so far.
Abbie:
Aw
Greyson:
I know we just had—this is our third episode, but oh my goodness, it was so great talking to you.
Abbie
Oh, thank you, it was so great talking to you too.
Greyson:
Thank you. And thank you for coming on the show.
Abbie:
Of course. I'm just like so happy to have a platform. My mom and I have tried so hard to like find ways for me to educate people about this and like the only thing we've been able to find is like post on Instagram and do that kind of stuff. So, it's so great to have something that's like, actually active and I think we'll reach more people.